I'm so happy

WOOOOO I just got my Kodak CX6230 digital camera from Future Shop. 207$ on the dot. Now hopefully I won't pay about a billion more dollars on batteries.

So anyway for Christmas I went to Trois-Rivieres to stay with my brother's girlfriend's family. I expected it to be some log cabin in the middle of nowhere but it turns out that Trois-Rivieres is pretty much like LaSalle. The house had 2 PCs with high speed internet, satellite, DVD player... so I wasn't really bored at any point. I even got to play a little bit of CounterStrike while I was there. I won like 3$ playing poker and other card games... next stop Las Vegas!

Right now my friend is sleeping in my bed so I don't really have any place to lie down. I might just curl up on the couch though. And yes, that is my numbered pillowcase. Fuck you.

Shit, it turns out I desperately need a good image host. You can copy the link above by right clicking on it and clicking Copy Address, then pasting it in a new window. That should allow you to view the image.

Don't get all emotional on me here...

Well guys Christmas is tomorrow so I'm gonna wish you all a good one right now. I'm leaving in about two hours to Trois-Rivieres (I think there might be an accent somewhere in there) until the 26th. I'm pretty sure there's nothing resembling a computer within half an hour of that place so this will most likely be my last blog until I get back. Stoney's also going somewhere for some reason so this place will be pretty much empty. I'm sure both the people that read this blog will be very saddened by this touching news. Anyway I gotta go eat something before my trip so see you Friday or Saturday.

Katz For Life

This is what the blog might look like if I was obsessed with porn and replaced milk with LSD in my morning meals.

My brain hurts!

Whoa.

time for something new

alright the plan fo this blog is to think of something and type it as fast as humanly possible withouit cgoing back to corect mistakes so i gotta think os something funny and fast

lemme think now uh yeah so you know what relaly fucking bugs meÉ crowded busses fuck like fucking stinky old poeple jabbing you in the ribs with their fuckin roten elbows like they own the place. also loud girls who think what they have to say is more oiimportant than anytrhing esle in the world so you can hear them from china and shit. that makes me so mad. then when you go to get off the bus its fuckin packed near toh doors so you gotta like tackle some small grl to get past i hate atht. or when you go to get on and its so crowded that you cant get on so y0ou look all sad when the doors close on your face and it drives away and its cold out and snowing ansd shit, that fuckin sucsk. i guess you coauld say that i hate public tranpsortion in genral.

Just Do What I Do

I pretty much ignore Christmas. It's like one of those bullies who just gets in your face but if you pretend it's not there then it's not so bad. By the way, if you type .99 cents it's like saying you didn't even spend one PENNY on your grandpa. It's like almost a penny, but not quite. You cheap ungrateful punk.

Oh and for Christmas (I mean, for whatever holiday is going on now besides Christmas) I got a new keyboard. Take that, you old hunk of scraggly plastic that was trying to pass off as a keyboard for God knows HOW long.

Logitech: 1; Old keyboard: 0

What the hell?

Man, everytime I talk to Stoney on MSN she's always on her way out the door to a concert. What the fuck is going on?

StreaK: hey stoney
StreaK: whats going on
Stoney: EVANESCENCE CONCERT NO TIME TO TALK
StreaK: ummm

StreaK: hey stoney wanna come to a party
Stoney: sorri cant, going to full count concert with kayla

StreaK: stoney how would you like a million dollars and free food and trip to hawaii tonight
Stoney: simple plan is in montreal tonight

You get the point. The following is directed to everybody in a band:
GET THE FUCK OUTTA MONTREAL SO STONEY WILL ACTUALLY BE AROUND EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.

In Canadien Jersey Spiderman We Trust

Holy shit. Most of you probably won't even believe this blog. I'm still wondering if I made it up myself.

In Montreal there's this street called St. Catherine which is made up of mostly clothing stores, arcades and strip joints. It's really packed every weekend with tons of people going to the movies or meeting friends, and is a big part of Montreal's nightlife. Anyway, me, Stoney and our friend Kayla went to play Lazer Quest (laser tag at 7.50$ a pop) on Saturday night. After that we were walking along the street when Stoney looked over and saw the greatest thing I have ever seen in my entire life, taking into account all the other things I might see in the future. Across the street, there was a bum, wearing a Montreal Canadiens jersey and a Spiderman mask, dancing to cheap techno music for money. At this point I would like to remind you that I am not making this shit up. We ran across the street and talked to him for at least five minutes, except it was pretty much just excited screaming. He said to come back next saturday and he would be wearing a Batman costume. He also wanted us to take a picture but we didn't have a camera on us. Then he gave us lollipops, which I didn't eat because I don't take candy from strangers. No matter how many superhero costumes they're wearing. Sometime soon me and Stoney are going back with a camera so you guys can have some proof. Anyone interested can go see him Saturday nights on St. Catherine street in front of the Cathedral metro entrance, or a little further down the road (he was pretty much across the street from Lazer Quest). Tell him those fucked up kids sent you.

No, I didn't make that up.

Extremely heffed

Holy shit, my ISP sucks so much metric ass I didn't think it was possible. I'm getting disconnected about 5 seconds after I connect to their crap service. I don't even know if this blog is gonna work. Look at their shitty website. I could make a better site using only a post-it note, three rubber bands and a buffalo nickel. Their internet would be more reliable if I wrote a bunch of zeros and ones and sent them by carrier pigeon to their destination. I could outrun their packets. If it's not fixed in like... 20 minutes, somebody is getting a million ninja stars in their EYE.

PRAISE ALLAH

This is an important day in Canadian history. Not ONLY did I wake up before 6:30, which has probably happened only once when the house was burning down, my mom brushed her teeth before I took my shower. Some of you may remember my little rant about my morning routine. Well today all I did was wait an extra 2 minutes before taking my shower, and my mom said "Hey maybe I should brush my teeth before you go in there." At this point I calmly yelled "YES NOW YOU SEE!" directly in her face and jumped around the room. I think the neighbors might not like that, but I don't like when they play outdated songs from 1991 at max volume all day long.
In case there was any confusion, Snake is Stoney's nick name for me. It kinda comes from a teacher calling me Jake the Snake, and kinda comes from her being such a drug addict and doing 80 lines of coke before class every day.
Also, I have the song that goes "Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow, everybody needs a bosom!" in my head now. Stupid song.

Just thought I'd edit this in: Read this page now. If you don't laugh, please tell me so I can beat a sense of humor into you.

Sit Ubu sit. Good dog.

Look how close the old man comes to getting a firework launched right into his chest. If I were the dog's owner, I'd probably punt him into the next country.

Yeah it takes a long time to load but what do you want me to do about it.

Bunn you, beep test

Today our gym class did the dreaded beep test. Let me explain what this beep test is. You play this standardized cassette on a stereo while you run back and forth in a gym between a certain distance. Every time a beep plays, you must be at the other end of the gym. If you don't make it in time, you stop and you get a certain mark. Basically, it's beep walk beep jog beep jog beep run. So at the beginning, you can take your time but when it gets to around 4 (the number isn't the number of beeps but rather every 4 or 5 beeps it goes up half a number) you have to speed up. We got to 11 but the teacher stopped it at that point. I was kinda happy cuz I could go and pass out but I also wanted to continue to see how long I could go. Now I have about 80 forms of cancer in various parts of my body and I'm so hungry I might eat this keyboard (I'm in computer class, and finished my assignment). I think I'm gonna go play something at MiniClip.com now.

A Day In The Life of Stoney

This is some dumb little thing where me and Stoney write what we think it's like to be the other person for a day.

06:00am: Wake up to sound of Dad stumbling around hallway in search of nourishment. Go back to sleep.
06:30am: Mom wakes me up, I throw nearest pillow/bracelet/alarm clock/cement brick at her. Try to get some sleep.
07:00am: Mom wakes me up again, so I yell "GEEK YOU" when I mean to say something else. I think she gives up now.
08:45am: Wake up for last time, realize I'm late for school. Too late to do anything about that now. Eat gigantic bowl of Oreos trying to pass it off as cereal. Take 40 minute shower, take about an hour to get dressed (all girls do this).
09:35am: Get to school, tell principal I was too drugged up to find the bus stop. He believes me and replies by going "YO GUY!".
12:00pm: LUNCH TIME! Time to smoke drugs with all my friends, throw salad dressing at people and play hackey sack. Lunch is pretty much like the rest of the day, except we smoke now.
12:30pm: Take my time getting back to class so I can take a nap in the park.
01:00pm: Back in class. 50% of students are stoned, and teacher is hungover.
03:00pm: TIME TO GO MEET SNAKE AT THE METRO
04:15pm: FUCKIN HELL I'VE BEEN WAITING HERE 30 MINUTES AND HE JUST COMES IN NOW SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT!
04:15-05:30pm: Laugh at random things with Snake, including stupid babies and Pat One.
06:15pm: Get home, mom wonders where I was and why I can't stop laughing.
06:45pm: Eat supper while giving my pet cats large quantities of table scraps even though my mom tells me not to. Dad says something to me but I ignore him.
07:00pm: Talk with Snake on MSN about the daily events some more, think of blogs, check e-mail etc.
10:00pm: Mom tells me to go to sleep so I tell her I am then stay up anyway.
12:00am: NINJA ROLLS IN MOM'S ROOM WOOOOOO
12:15am: Sleep now. I'm going to be tired tomorrow.

Fuck this shit

I'm totally forgetting about this "typing like an idiot" for a week thing. I can't fucking do it. I'll type something, then look at it and think "How can I make this seem stupider?" then erase like 16 letters and replace them with 2 numbers. I just can't do it.

Today was such a crap day. I woke up in a super great mood thinking that I would like find a treasure chest or something on the way to school. I should have gone back to bed. The day itself was pretty boring and I was so damn hungry I almost fainted like six times a minute. Finally last period I had gym and we were finishing off our handball tournament. In the Finals I got scratched, shoved and pushed onto the floor and we lost 4-2. I was all tired and out of breath and injured and had to go to the mall with a friend for Christmas shopping. There, I see Lindsay C., the girl that went with Stoney to Toronto. She tells us this gigantic long story of the best day of her life and then I have to come home and read it again on here. I start getting angry and Stoney is all like "You should be happy!"

Yeah, I go to school and get the crap beat out of me (and STILL lose the game), almost waste away from food deprivation while you're off in Toronto getting into Blink concerts for free and probably doing cocaine with every rock star on Earth and I'm supposed to be happy. I fucking hate you, Stoney.

This is probably a bad idea

i have decided that 4 the next week i am going 2 allow myself 2 type like this. this is prolly a stupid idea but well c. every1 on msn should notice right away bcuz i never type like this. i feel stupid already.