Arabian Basketball Jazz

Listen I know I haven't had a really good post on here in a while. I'm quite aware, so bear with me for a few days. In the meantime, you can check out my WinAmp playlist here. You might like some of the stuff on it, or at least give it a try. You can see I like a lot of different types of stuff, but not everything in each category. Nobody better tell me rap is shit or whatever because I believe that you can't generalize music into sucky or not sucky. What I mean is, you can't say all rap sucks or all techno is good. To me it really depends on the artist, and even some artists can have good songs or bad songs. I really can't stand when people say ALL of a certain genre sucks, without listening to some of the better artists out there. But that's just me.

This guy knows where it's at

Everything makes so much sense now. Read it all the way through, it's worth it.

I have an addiction

Hi everyone. My name is Jacob and I have an addiction.

This isn't easy for me to say. Almost every morning... I put my clothes in the drier for 5-7 minutes before leaving my house. This makes them toasty warm for just about the length of time it takes me to get to the metro near my house. It uses electricity but I can't help myself. The thing is, while everyone is walking around freezing, I have my own little atmosphere inside my sweater making me perfectly comfortable and warm.
Everyone is stupid but me.

The Dust Brothers give me action in the pants

Everyone with access to an internet connection should listen to something by The Dust Brothers. They are the ultimate best.

Dey ya go

Those with eyeballs will notice the brand spanking new Shoutbox on the right. Those with something to say will use it. No stupid shit cuz I'll just erase the message.

My compooter done broke again

What's that you say? Corrupted Windows system file? Can't load Windows? Repair from recovery console using Setup CD-ROM? Can't find said CD? Gotta make 6 floppy boot disks when I can only find 5 working ones? Finally found an extra one? Taking really long to load up and might not even work when it's done loading? Oh okay.

YES THAT IS AWESOME

This just in: a fireworks factory exploded somewhere. This is the best thing ever.

Bring me a tool shed, for I am hungry!

A whole bunch of scienticians and other smart people have been saying breakfast is the most important meal of the day for quite some time now. Usually I'm in a rush so I don't bother, but today I decided I might make some scrumalicious Belgian waffles.

What's that you say? They won't fit in the toaster? Yes. That's right. THEY DON'T FIT IN THE TOASTER. Belgian waffles are the square ones that are really thick and puffy, but this company decided to make them extra thick and fluffy. Thicker than the slots in my toaster. So I ended up having just a regular apple for breakfast. I might pass out today, but at least I can sue when I slam my head on a desk or something.

Best inventions ever

I've said it before and I'll say it again. The two single best inventions ever are "food" and "sleep".

It all started with food being invented sometime in the year 1 million BC when a caveman thought to himself "Maybe if I put something in my mouth and chew on it, my stomach won't hurt so much." Well, it worked. Soon came ideas such as:
- Killing your food before you eat it.
- Cooking your food before you eat it.
- Killing your food before you cook it.
- A&W hamburgers
Since then food has evolved into the greatest invention of all time. If you don't believe me then how about you don't eat for a few days then tell me how great food is.

Sleep was invented some time in the 14th Century in France. Someone came up with the crazy idea of "I wonder if we closed our eyes for hours at a time we wouldn't be so goddamn tired all the time." Of course it was France so it probably sounded like "le time" or something. Soon came beds and blankets, and eventually those little trays you can have bed and breakfast with. The great thing about these two inventions is that if you're hungry and there's no food around, just go to sleep for a couple hours. When you wake up the chances are somebody has either done groceries or cooked a meal in your house.

Cannibalism and bedbugs both originated in Australia. Fuck them.

I concur

Bah. It turns out that the bus drivers aren't on strike; it's the maintenance workers. So basically as soon as those asshole drivers shut up, the mechanics decide to take a shit fit? Why didn't they fucking say something while the drivers were at it? Everything I said about this strike being gay still stands, just place the blame somewhere else now. I'm wondering if maintenance workers are harder to replace than bus drivers, or easier; if they were harder the STM would listen to them and I could take the bus home again. If they're easily replaceable maybe this strike could last a bit longer than expected. Either way, STM is kinda stupid for not running enough buses when the students need them. They should take the risk a bus breaking down and help us out. But that's just my opinion.

STM: 1, My feet: 0
P.S. Hot damn, Stoney. Learn to type!

Hey Chris

We're still on in Boston.

You shouldn't be able to see this

Well blogSpot.com seems to be down meaning I can't read my blog but I can still post stuff to it.

I am the lord Jesus Christ. I think I'm gonna get wasted and go beat up hookers.

Anyone who gets the reference gets a free cookie, but not if your blog's address is allchris.blogspot.com.

Got something to say?

Every weekend starting now I will post one long post containing a bunch of comments from people who read this blog. The way it's going to work is: You e-mail me with the subject of your e-mail as "blog comment", and the e-mail containing your comments. If your subject is NOT "Blog comment", I may decide not to show it on the site. You've been warned.
Example: If you wanted to comment on something, you would put your e-mail's subject to "Blog comment" and then say something like "Good idea, dipshit" in your e-mail. You can leave your name and e-mail if you wish, or you can ask not to have them shown. Then at the end of the week I compile your comments (leaving out the pointless or stupid ones) and post them in a blog on this page.

Simple? E-mail your comments to streak@playcs.com.

Take off, eh!

Strange Brew is the funniest movie I have ever seen. I didn't even know something that was made before I was born could be worth my time. If you don't watch this movie I will come to your house and I will cut you.

I'm tired.

Finally got the site looking like it wasn't coded by blind autistic monkeys with hot pokers under their feet. My posts will have the light blue text while Stoney's will have the pink text in the title, instead of that colored background shit. And of course the navbar on the right looks super duper clean and nice and stuff. ENJOY.

STUPID COMPUTER

I can't get the site working exactly the way I want it but this will have to do for now. Anyone with complaints/suggestions can send them directly to the garbage can.

This just in.

Chris linked my blog under the "Ninja" section of his links list. I think I should get a samurai sword or something now.
By the way, did anybody see that lightning storm last night? I think if a ninja saw that shit he would be flipping out and killing people even moreso than ever.

Bran makes you poop

One time I was at my brother's house and I asked him what was for breakfast. He said "Raisin Bran" so I was like "I don't like raisins..." Then he thought for a few seconds and said "Bran." Damn him. I think I ended up eating toast or something.
Yeah, shredded wheat is gay and hurts the roof of your mouth unless it's soggy from milk at which point it's already gross to the power of disgusting.

Honeycombs for life.

What's WRONG with you?

For some reason Stoney decided to write about 5935 to the power of 18 blogs today (5) so you all have something to read if you scroll down a bit. In other news, there was a MEGA NINJA FREAKOUT FIGHT today after school in which I got to hold some people back from pounding each other even more than they already did. I think I lost my virginity somewhere during the fight. Sadly, there were no limbs lost/shuriken thrown.

The CIA should hire me or something

I'm currently at my brother's house due to family problems and my computer at home SHOULD be off. However thanks to AudioMatch.net, I was able to catch my little brother on my computer even though I wasn't within a thousand feet of my house! I noticed that the site reported I was listening to Drowning Pool, even though I'm POSITIVE I don't have any of their songs on my PC. That means my brother must have been on my PC long enough to download the song and listen to it. AudioMatch's playlist also shows I have listened to tonnes of CKY last night, even though I wasn't home. Therefore we can conclude that my brother has indeed been on the PC for quite some time now. Tell me that's not fucking sneaky or something. I called him and before he could even say hello I screamed "GET THE FUCK OFF MY COMPUTER AND GET OUT OF MY ROOM!". There was about a second of silence as his mind tried to figure out was going on which was pure satisfaction for me.

Ninja: 1, Brother: 0

Neo could fucking kill Yoda

Holy shit it's been a long time since I blogged. Let's see, what happened in the past week or so.

I saw The Matrix Revolutions on Wednesday night, but bear with me for the delay since then because with about 10 minutes to go in the movie, there was a slow motion punch and my eyes fucking exploded. It was pretty good, a little confusing and definitely worth your 6$ and/or climbing through an air vent to sneak into the theatre. I'm not gonna ruin it for you all just yet.
Some people say Yoda is stronger than Neo but I think they're all dumb and stupid and possibly dumb. Neo could fucking explode Yoda and dodge his gay lightsaber before Yoda could even blink. And don't say shit like Neo only has powers in the Matrix because that argument can easily be countered with: a) Watch the third movie and listen for the explanation of his powers b) Yoda is fucking gay.
This just in: Ninjas are awesome.

Umm, I also saw some drunk people downtown. That was probably the highlight of the week.

DON'T LOOK HERE

CHRIS IS A POOPYHEAD. FURTHERMORE I WOULD LIKE TO ADD THAT WHATEVER TOWN HE IS FROM PROBABLY SUCKS.

Scary Movie 3 sucks

You know that comedy thing people do where you take a joke that's really funny at first and you stretch it to the point where it's not funny anymore, except the fact that it's still going on makes it funny again? A good example of this is when Austin Powers is pissing behind the fountain in Goldmember. HILARIOUS!

It doesn't work if the joke isn't funny in the first place. DO YOU HEAR ME, IDIOTS? Scary Movie 3 was really extra not funny. Don't waste your money.

STOP IT!

Fat people + paintball gun = comedy gold!

He drank me drink drink drink

So last friday was the halloween party where I got to take care of drunk people since I was the only sober one around... people do really dumb things when they're drunk. Someone told my friend that her eyes looked foggy and she yelled out "HELP I CAN'T SEE NOW" because she believed him, what a dork. I had to walk her around the block because she wanted fresh air but she couldn't walk in a straight line if her life depended on it. She falls in the wet grass on someone's lawn and gets covered with grass and dirt and just LIES THERE. I tell her to get up at which point she yells "I AM UP" and rolls around some more. The highlight of the night was probably when a random black guy walking across the street saw my friend throwing up in a bus shelter and screamed "YO GUY HALLOWEEN BE ABOUT THE CANDY MON NOT THE ALCOHOL" to which I could only reply "Ooo yeah!". Next party I go to I'm gonna make up for being sober at this one so be prepared for one hell of a blog whenever that is.