Fook You

Waking up in my house is no thrill either. After going to bed at 2 am, the first thing you hear is my dad destroying the house about three hours later. Then at 6:15 my alarm goes off and I slam that Snooze button bitch. Normally, these 10 minutes of silence are vital for a good start to any day. This explains why I rarely have a good day. If you were to sleep at my house, in these 9 minutes of “peace” you would hear muffled yelling from the living room, the more you try to rest, the louder it gets. Ignoring this monster just makes it angrier; eventually it’ll even get enraged enough to actually get out of bed to harass you in yours. She’ll come charging into the room, and swing the door open hard enough to kill a weak man. When you open your eyes the lights are already on and the monster will be yelling in an uncivilized manner “DON’T BE LATE GET TO SCHOOL ARG!! ERR!!”. All you can do is pray she doesn’t rip the wall down and keep trying to sleep. When she sees you ignoring her , she’ll go back to bed until the snooze alarm goes off. Repeat this procedure about twenty times. When she comes so far as to ripping your blanket off, threaten to punch her head off . This will usually stun it for about 45 seconds while it tries to figure out if you're serious or not. This is a good chance for you to run to the shower. Don’t forget to slam the door; it makes the veins bulge in her forehead. If you spend any more than 10 minutes in the shower, expect to hear the door being attacked with a jack hammer and about 30 rhinos.
On your way out the door, it will usually say something “encouraging” like have a good day. This is your opportunity to get partial revenge by telling her to burn in hell . This will ruin about ¾ of her day.