stupidness

quickie

2005-04-08T17:42:00.000-04:00

what do terri schiavo, the pope, and stalin have in common?

i'm glad they're all dead.

bars are pretty gay

2005-02-26T21:23:00.000-05:00

so anyway i get the bright idea to go out to a bar last night with some friends for a few hours

before i even get to the bar, on the metro, this random black guy offers me the rest of his vodka. even if i didnt hate vodka i wouldnt take it, for all i know it was rubbing alcohol or lighter fluid or something equally poisonous. anyway after i decline he proceeds to chug the rest to himself and get off the metro without saying a word. so either it was vodka all along or there's one less alcoholic for the world to deal with now.

after we get upstairs in the bar this emo band comes on and the music is so fucking loud my head nearly explodes six times a second, not to mention people are already starting to ramble about nonsense due to the alcohol they're cramming down their throats. except instead of rambling it was more like screaming at the top of their lungs every other second.

then, a second room opens up where we all migrate to so we can jump around like retards to the amusement of anyone else watching. a whole bunch of stupid boring crap happens here that i'm not going to write about but it includes people getting shoved head-first into the side of the stage which was pretty amusing i guess.

then our friend jess leaves out of nowhere which i guess means everyone else left at the same time, leaving me and kayla in this sweaty pit of death to look for people who are probably home by now. anyway we leave at around 1:20am which means the metro is closed and we're in the middle of downtown stranded like retards. just then we see two guys we know where at the bar, and ask them what they're doing next to a cop car. turns out one of them accidentally cut the other one's arm pretty badly, and after getting medical attention the guy gets a 400$ fine for carrying a weapon or something. hah.

they tell us to take the night bus towards verdun to get home so we walk to the bus stop. let's just say my body felt like a crash test dummy from moshing and i was almost throwing up from eating ONE FRENCH FRY from la belle province. after like 20 minutes the two guys decide to hail a cab which takes about ten minutes despite the fact that there are more taxis than cars and almost every single one of them is vacant. eventually the bus comes but we realize that it only goes to atwater. anyway to make a long story short it took until 3am to get home and bars are gay

oh by the way

2004-10-03T15:43:00.000-04:00

if you're still reading this site maybe you should head over to http://outbursts.blogspot.com and check out what's new.

I hate Mozilla

2004-03-01T19:53:00.000-05:00

I'm changing the site's layout AGAIN to this one from maystar. I'm not done converting it so the comment links aren't there right now (among other things I have to do). Anyway, I'm leaving now to go play cards or something, then getting my haircut tomorrow so just hang tight and the site will be done soon.

AH MY EYE

2004-03-01T17:26:00.000-05:00

I just put some Extra-Strength Bengay on my wrist because it was sore.
Then I rubbed my eye using said wrist.
Now, I can barely see out of that eye. Way to go, me.

And this site is unreadable in Mozilla or other browsers that aren't Internet Explorer which probably means I'll be redoing it... again.

Now with 50% less cancer

2004-02-29T10:12:00.000-05:00

So I totally redid the entire site over the last two nights and added a little avatar to our posts so you can see who wrote it without that ugly pink or blue text getting in the way. Shoutbox is coming soon, or whenever I get around to it.

Still have to fix my AudioMatch.net image and possibly a few other things but tell me if you like the new layout by clicking the comment link at the bottom of this post.

And by the way, Stoney. That picture of you is staying like that until you get a job! Bunn you!

PlayCS.com is terrible

2004-02-24T20:21:00.000-05:00

So anyway a few months ago I saw this site called www.playcs.com which was free e-mail for gamers specifically Counter-Strike players. I thought, "Hey, I'm a gamer, specifically a Counter-Strike player, so I should sign up!" and soon enough streak@playcs.com was my e-mail account. Since then I have signed up for probably about a dozen different sites using streak@playcs.com as my primary e-mail. There was about two weeks of server downtime at playcs.com meaning I couldn't get into my e-mail. I thought this was acceptable since I didn't really NEED it that badly, but that it was still pretty annoying. So, after it went back up, there was a short period where I had e-mail. Then, it went down again. For like 3 weeks. The only difference was that this time, there was a notice on the main page saying that they would be back next week better than ever! I figured I could wait through this.

Today, PlayCS.com has been turned into a forum and the e-mail accounts are all gone. To sign up for an account, you have to pay 3 US dollars (minimum) and even if you do this, all your old saved e-mails are erased no matter what. So basically, without warning, PlayCS.com erased quite a few relatively important e-mails I had saved, then had the nerve to ask for money so I can keep my account.

I am not happy, and I can assure you the day I pay money for PlayCS.com's e-mail service is the day they implement the "do your homework" feature.
Not that I do homework anyway.

Oh, and the shoutbox is a little messed up right now but I'm too busy to fix it. Maybe soon.

Jazz times ten

2004-02-23T19:40:00.000-05:00

Holy shit I really haven't blogged in a long time. So now to both my loyal fans I present to you with a description of one of my major pet peeves:

You know when you take the metro and go to get off at your stop? Well how it usually works is everybody gets off, then the people who were waiting to get on approach the train and go through the doors. It's just like, understood that that's how it works. You just fucking know. Well, I can't STAND when people try to get on the metro as soon as the doors open even if there are people waiting to get off. If someone is getting off, it makes no fucking sense to get in their way, block them, or shove past them when it makes no difference how fast the metro leaves. The whole "I'm in a hurry" excuse is invalid, because the metro still has to wait for the people to get off for it to close its doors. I don't understand how any human smart enough to figure out how to pay ticket fare and walk down a flight of stairs can not grasp the concept of letting the metro empty out before filling it up more. It just lacks so much common sense it makes my head hurt some times. Oh, and don't get me started on people who actually shove past people to get on the metro. I'm getting angry just thinking about it.

In other, non blood-pressure-increasing news, I got my SIN today. Basically this means I can legally work in Canada to get some freakin' MONEY. It's about time. GO ME! GO CANADA!

Edit: The spell check on this blogging hoodickey tried to correct the following words:
blogged (You'd think they would know what it meant)
fucking (It's a real word, people!)
freakin' (I can understand this one, I guess)
CANADA (What the fuck? It also suggested I replace it with "CANADA". Real smart spell checker there)
doohickey (Kind of expected)

Edit2: I spelled doohickey wrong the first time. Hahahaha, hoodickey.

AND ANOTHER THING

2004-02-13T23:19:00.000-05:00

me and lindz like going in the back of my uncles trailor truck and running around in there while hes driving and the jigger smashes into us and we tried to hang off the bars on top but then one fell and smashed lindz's head
oh ya and today at the metro i was on the bus that this fat ham was trying to catch , so the bus driver waits but then that jerks notes went flying EVERYWHERE and everyone stepped on them and he's like Noooooooo! and then the bus driver laughed and drove away

Hilarious Tumble Tower

2004-02-13T21:56:00.000-05:00

Ok so me and Lindsay are in the dollar store buying some scandalous candy and hilarious kalidascopes, and all of a sudden this crazy lady with missing teeth comes up to me and heffs me out of nowhere. She's like HAR HAR CANDY ROTTS UR TEETH EH! im like i dunno shes like WELL THEN CLEAN IT UP! im like clean what up? shes like the MESS IN MY HOUSE im like oh, sorry... then shes like YA U WOULDNT LIKE LIVING AT MY HOUSE WOULD U ?? WITH ALL THE CRAZY PEOPLE IN AND OUT IN AND OUT HOW WOULD U LIKE TO HEAR THAT ALL DAY!! im like, i dunno at all AHAHHAHA , shes like OHHH LOOK HOW CUTE UR LAUGHING LOOK EVERYONE SHE'S CRAZY SHESSSS LAUGHING!!!!!!!
Yeah , uh that's my story... and also, my mom laughed at me cuz i received a whole tin of pop corn with 40$ for doing shit all and i punched my self in the face accidently while trying to open it. My mom said that's what i get, stupid stoner. LoL.
Me; Lots of pop corn
Crazy Lady ; LoL

Ugly Doris

2004-02-10T22:58:00.000-05:00

Hello. I am here to tell you about a bad time Lindz had at one of my birthday parties . She thought it would be another wonderful day , we were all joking around and she was laying on my floor unsuspecting the bad tragedy that would soon happen. The uninvited beached whale perched herself on my bed in a standing position, and before any of us could do anything, that fat mean girl named Sally pounced on Lindz like two heffers over the last peace of greasy chicken. She nearly squeezed the life out of her, releasing the first and only time I ever heard Lindz scream like a girl. Knowing that something must be terribly wrong for this to happen , we all piled on top of stupid sally in a scandalous dog pile only to get kicked punched pinched and bit by the devistated and half alive... Lindz. R.I.P LINDZ , I hope you're eating chicken nuggets in heaven.

WHAT THE FUCK

2004-02-09T07:32:00.000-05:00

It appears that the image I was linking to has been taken off the Yahoo! servers. Trust me, it's for your own good.
So in conclusion, Christina Aguilera is ugly.

Let Me Make This Clear

2004-02-06T22:14:00.000-05:00

The "en" you see me and Stoney using all over the place is kind of an inside joke. It is kinda making fun of stereotypical Italians who add "en?" to the end of their sentences. It is pronounced more like "an" with a... hard A or something. Some examples follow:

Let's go eata some pasta en?
You maka no sense en?
What the fuck, en? (This is where the title of the blog comes from)

So don't read it as "What the fuck, 'n'" anymore. It's "What the fuck, en?" Anyway, that joke just got unfunny by explaining it so I might rename the blog real soon.

I Think I'm Dying

2004-02-05T18:46:00.000-05:00

So I'm still kinda sick from earlier on in the week, except now my throat is cleared up and my head is stuffed up. So I get the genius idea to put this minty cream on my schnozz to clear up my nose. It's kinda like Vicks VapoRub except not Vicks. Now the fumes are going directly into my eyes and water is pouring out of them nonstop. Seriously, there is a tear every ten seconds or so. Hopefully when my mom gets back with the Neo-Citron I'll feel better.

If snake eats 24 steaks a minute …

2004-02-04T13:49:00.000-05:00

If you ever tasted my mothers cooking, you’d probably DIE in comparison. My dad just begs me to ignore him by screaming at me and calling me a jackass. Oh yeah , pretty good story, why don’t you go back and tell it to your grandmothers dead WHEELCHAIR. That’s right I said it, and I’m angry. I’m angry at all these barfing bitches they call models. These bulimic bimbos spend their time trying on trendy shit and banging Hanson all the time. Bunn that. If it were up to me, they’d all be dangling into a pit of bitch eating jelly fish. I’m not trying to say that I don’t eat seahorses, heh I mean… who doesn’t? But seriously, where the hell were these models raised? Ethiopia? But it still doesn’t explain why their wedding dresses look like they were dug up from their great grandmothers grave. Like really. Then, THEN , they have the nerve to rape all three members of Hanson before me or Lindz have a chance at them. Well that’s the last straw, if I ever see a model, I will force feed them a big mac , or maybe I’ll just feed THEM to Dance Dance batman.
On another note, I just read this article in the messenger about William grants bully box. I talks about how OMLY 50% of the messages are pranks. Hold on while I hyperventilate. The opening line is what got me. “ William Grant checks one of LCCHS’ bully box for anonymous cries for help. He pulls out a chewed piece of gum. “ . Excuse me sir, but are you a fat fucking pig? I also had a good idea of trying out for American Idol and spinning Simon around on his computer chair while singing a hilarious rendition of You Spin Me Right Round. Then I realized we live in Canada eh and I got an even better idea. Since the host of the show’s name is Ben Melrooney, and I don’t KNOW that fat judges name, I’ll just do this.
Me: *dykes in* WHEN I WAS AYOUNG WART HOGGGGGGGGGGG!
Fat Judge: That was the worst fucking thing I’ve ever heard.
Me: Hey, HEY MEL MELROONEY! SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!
Fat Judge: Uh miss? That’s not my….
Me: YA MEL MELROONEY, YOU FAT FUCKING SWINE!
Fat Judge: That’s not my name… Or the host of the show’s name.
Me: STFU *ninja roll out*
Oh by the way , Gary Benzo… if you’re out there… Brush your fucking teeth, before somebody else does it for you.
Models; -33034834983
Gary; ew
Me ; 4

I Am A Genius

2004-02-04T07:41:00.000-05:00

I added a comment feature, so you can comment on each individual post now, in addition to random screaming at people on the ShoutBox. The Comment link appears right next to the line under each post. Now I'm going to be late for school.

HOLY SHIT I'VE BEEN ROBBED

2004-02-04T07:36:00.000-05:00

I CAN'T FIND MY "SIMPSONS" BOXERS AND I THINK IT'S QUITE CLEAR THAT THE ONLY VALID EXPLANATION IS THAT A TEAM OF SPECIALIZED NINJAS CAME IN THE DARK OF THE NIGHT, SWIPED THE BOXERS THEN VANISHED LIKE THE SPECIALIZED NINJAS THAT THEY ARE

SOMEBODY CALL 911

Update: Found them. Oh, and a bunch of other clothes I haven't seen in a while. GO ME!

Little Blog On The Prairie

2004-02-04T07:24:00.000-05:00

You know, Honey Nut Cheerios is just about the best tasting healthy cereal you can buy. Yeah, you could buy something like Alpha-Bits or Trix or whatever, but those have been known to cause SARS, cancer, heart attacks and hysterical pregnancy when consumed in large amounts. And, your teeth might suffer because of all that damn sugar. Honey Nut Cheerios is supposedly good for you, AND it tastes good. Since when is that possible? So next time you go to the store, tell them STREAK SENT YOU FOR HONEY NUT CHEERIOS and tell me if they kick you out or not.

Yesterday I didn't go to school because my throat was sore and my head hurt and stuff. So now I have to TOTALLY GO TO THE OFFICE AND GET A NOTE! ISN'T THAT CRAZY!? I BET NEXT I'M GONNA HAVE TO SHOW IT TO MY TEACHER!!!

Too bad my life doesn't sound as exciting as I'd like it to be.

Strobe light!

2004-02-01T19:16:00.000-05:00

The following is a message directed towards everybody that was involved in the creation of Need For Speed: Underground.

Can I live in your pocket?

Seriously though, it's an awesome game and everybody that plays videogames should give it a try. I usually don't like racing games so it was a big surprise for me to like it this much.

So in other news, my science fair project is almost done with and then I can rejoice like I've never rejoiced in my life. Last night I had a three person conversation in the dark with a strobe light going off, it was just about the trippiest thing in the universe and now I'm guaranteed to buy a strobe light for when I move out. Speaking of moving out, some friends and I have this crazy plan to live together starting this summer. It would be me, Stoney, and two other friends in a four and a half... sharing rooms and splitting costs. Talk about pure unsupervised chaos. If this plan comes together properly I am inviting everybody I know under 20 to a house warming party. And of course there will be absolutely no alcohol or drugs, whatsoever*.

I'm going to go play Need For Speed now.

* KIDDING!

I hate everybody.

2004-01-24T23:24:00.000-05:00

So not only is my physics science fair project due on February 2nd, but my partner's parents are absolute fucking nazis when it comes to school or play or work or home life or food or anything beginning with a one of 26 different letters. They make him do his projects under pressure two weeks in advance ALL the time, he can't watch one TV show without them yelling at him about studying or working or preparing work or some shit like that even though he fucking studies like a madman (and it doesn't even work that much in the end). I think if I saw this kid's parents in a dark alley, I would stab them in the throat and bury their bodies in my backyard. The best part is that supposedly they think I'm a nice kid.

Well not too long ago my partner comes online telling me to write the project as soon as possible (I already planned on writing a little bit each night, up until when it was due, but now he wants me to do it ALL in one night) because his parents won't let him go on a field trip if they don't see the finished project. I was at his house Friday and they were acting all fucking bitchy and crabby about the fact that it wasn't already finished. So basically now, I can control whether or not this guy gets to go skiing this week... good luck, buddy.

Oh and here's the e-mail with typos bolded. Looks like all that studying didn't pay off, eh nazis?

ok look i tryed to tel my parents that you all ready had the writen part done so that they don't have to see it put they want to see it and you have to write it up good i don't care about the mass of the golf balls adn i need the pic so by sunday night i can have everything done i know you so i know you can write up a report in like 15 min so can you plz plz write one up today wich is sat or by sunday night plz pl plz you don't understand how importan this is ty sorry by the way for the hush (I think he meant rush)

And now, translated into English:

MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING DIPSHITS WHO ARE TRYING TO CONTROL MY LIFE AND BY DOING SO ALSO TRYING TO CONTROL YOURS. PLEASE BURN MY HOUSE DOWN AND SPARE NO SURVIVORS.

God Bless America

2004-01-19T16:40:00.000-05:00

HOLY FUCK I just got my dsl connection back and it feels so good. I almost died, I was approaching 2 weeks with no internet access from home. But just as things looked even worse, I plugged the modem in (from where my brother unplugged it to plug in his phone) and it WORKED! Now even if I got hit by two... TWOOOOO... trains and had my limbs hacked off by rusty knives, this would still be a good day.

AxcessNet still sucks, though.

Check This Out

2004-01-18T21:22:00.000-05:00

lmfao ... www.ratemyteachers.ca rate any staff member at LaSalle Catholic ... or any other school hahaha

If all cases of Mad Cow Disease have been taken care of, why is The View still being aired?

2004-01-18T20:25:00.000-05:00

So I decided to actually give my dad 15 minutes of my time today and i found out his intake on reality shows... " Fear factor, Bullshit factor, Fat factor, Ugly factor, Obnoxious factor... they're all the same to me... i dunno whats coming next and i dont really care either" . Lmfao. He basically just took fear factor and put a bunch of random adjectives in it and pretended they were actual shows..
On another note, Funniest Home Videos is actually hilarious as HELL. I almost choked to death when two little kids dressed in super hero costumes tried to wake up theyre dad , who was sleeping in a towel for some reason by singing and dancing by his bed. All of a sudden you hear the mother "GET EM BOYSSS" next thing u know this little GIRL nails the dad right in the balls lmfao that killed me. Other funny videos included a small girl trying to swim to shore while a deranged goose pecked her head in an angry fashion. Or some oldie getting pushed into a lake by a goat, or some 40 year old dyke that fell down a water fall.
My dad ; 1 Bullshit Factor ; 0 Funniest Home Videos; 10

Amazing Poems

2004-01-13T23:00:00.000-05:00

Uh what are we drunk? i dunno... but were making some hilarious ryhmes such as these...

green eggs and ham... gree geegs and gam... greef feegs and fam.. toast and yams... drumz and sam... sam ate bam bam.... fred flin and damn...SAM ATE BAM BAM

Go eat your ham in the bedroom...whom shot this drool under the tomb?

dribble the ball to the back yard... Scribble and fall like a retard... cringe in the fall at the seminar

vroom vroom when the lil boy in black.... he sees the nite pass by through his beeten up shak.... wishes he could play b-ball like shaq

lost my tooth in the drawer... ate some soup with the power... smell like shit not like flowers , go to the doctors in 15 hundred hours

but he has no hand, and his brother's band just made a grand... but his mother died, and was burried in the sand

sand in ur crack.... why did i have to eat that snak, off bubble gum flavoured cheezy mac

got ur momma in the sack... yea ur momma in the sack... hey gurl?... why'z she black

sand in ur crack , yakedy yack , misterious snatch, eat burnt cookies by the batch

mm hmm, burnt cookies, eating while playing hookie.... listening to nookie by limpy dick bizkit, (why'd he get a crew cut)

afternoon soaps... producers on dope.. an they lost their notes... so they got stoked with a bath robe and they just cant cope

random apple, nasty snapple, go to the chapel and pray for a ... crapple?

dancing fruits.. cruising boots.. are so rude, in the nude

snakes gonna kill me, for blogging incessently, go listen to dust bros, and eat rotten cheerios

anyways yeah ... im sure u all found those very... interesting... HEY THERE IS SOMEONE WEIRDER THAN US... LOOK

Poems; 1 Everyones wasted time ; 0

Hillbillies In Love

2004-01-13T19:43:00.000-05:00

Yea so my parents were arguing agressively about money ..like who owes who what and where all the money went ... so whatever i decided to take advantage of this tense situation by standing in between my parents and screaming at my dad for not giving me back my 50$ ... and wildly accusing my mom of promising me 25$ if i went to school , to make matters worse... they tried to ignore me but i just ranted louder until they asked me to leave. I decided to go heff the cat for a while... I started off..'GUMBY! WHERES THAT 50 BUCKS U OWE ME??" when she didnt answer i tried to remind her about the good old days when we were sweethearts in college... doesnt that mean anything to her anymore? lmfao ... then my mom heard me from the other room and told me to stop annoying the cat... NOT UNTIL I GET MY MONEY BACK... I told her..
Also , snakes mom is locked in some closet and he's started anarchy in his house... He can no go to bed as late as he wants, and he has internet back. Woo Ninja Style!
Ninjas: 1 ... Gumby: -50$

AxcessNet Sucks

2004-01-12T09:26:00.000-05:00

So for the past week I haven't had internet access from home. Anyone wanting to hear the story can gather 'round.

For three months AxcessNet doesn't send any bills so naturally my mom can't pay for the service because she needs the invoice number to write on the check. Of course instead of calling AxcessNet and asking about it, she ignores it until we get the Account Deactivation notice in the mail. It seems this ISP thinks that sending a letter telling them to pay for the bills the didn't send makes some sort of sense. Anyway I freak out and my mom pays the $120.62 needed to make up for the past three months. The same day, she calls to make sure they know the check is on the way and to let them know NOT to cut the service. They say they already got the check (the same day) and it won't be cut.

Then I get home and the modem isn't lighting up, and I can't connect. Fuck you, AxcessNet. So one week later my mom sends a check for the month of January's service which should re-enable the account. Of course, this may happen tonight, and it could happen in two weeks. Too bad I have to play in a CS match tomorrow night and don't even know the map I'm playing. For all of you who don't understand CS matches and everything, let me make it short. If I don't get internet by tonight, I'm screwed.

Fuck you again, AxcessNet.

Snake and Jaws Loves Hanson

2004-01-08T17:59:00.000-05:00

Due to the fact that Snake hasn’t been online for the past three days, I’ve come to the conclusion that his mom has now decreased his bed time to 315 , or whenever the hell he comes home from school. Maybe now he won't be so tired at school and he might just remember to finish his science fair project. Oh yeah and yesterday when the English teacher asked me what my oral was gonna be about, i panicked and blurted out ninjas, not realizing there is absolutely NO real information about ninja's available on the face of this planet. Excellent. I suppose I'll just construct my own guide to ninjas and codes and stuff and pray for a passing grade. Some friends have urged me to ninja roll into the class with a shirt over my head, as seen at midnight in my mom’s room a few months ago, but i think i have a bit more dignity than that, maybe. Hmm what else, I wonder wtf snake is doing. Oh yeah i forgot he's sleeping. Probably with his fucking Blues Clues Teddy or something. Oh yeah and today when i tried to search Dust Bunnies on google because my friend wanted a pic of them , I stumbled upon countless sites about how Lunette the clown is fat, and parents complaining about their kids shoved the toys under the couch cushions after watching the show in attempt to pose the 10 second tidy . I even read something about someone’s brother "abusing himself to the site of Lunette the clown" ... It's a sick world. There was also a complaint about the Dust Bunnies posted because they made the daughter upset and have trouble sleeping at night. HaHa. Uh yeah that's about it.
Hanson; 1 Snake; -3 Ninjas; 1 i guess Lunette the clown; 0

I'm learnding!

2004-01-05T07:35:00.000-05:00

So I had about 3 hours of sleep last night and have been awake since 2am. Of course today is back to school after two weeks of vacation. I pretty much just started to forget about school and my science fair project and all that. This will probably be the worst Monday ever.

On a side note, I'm going to fucking murder Stoney. She sent me this song yesterday with a filename of unknown246.mp3 or some crap like that. I assumed it was this song that her friend wrote that I had heard about so I listened to it. I told her it was good but not really my style of music. Then she pulls some ninja move on me and tells me it was Hanson's new song. Holy fuck, I said Hanson was good. I hate you, Hanson. I hate you too, Stoney.

Return Of The Mack

2004-01-04T22:35:00.000-05:00

Ok i was cleaning my room out when i found this cheesy cd i used to own when i was 10 . Um it consists of pop songs sung by other artists, like Spice Girls covers and other cheesy stuff of that manner. Just before i was about to shoot it out, i decided to give it a listen for old times sake. Now as i listen to Mmmbop and Get Down sung by what sounds like drunk 15 year olds, i sit here wondering wtf im doing.

For Era Suppa I era Want the PARTY PLATTER!

2003-12-30T21:46:00.000-05:00

I had an err... Interesting Christmas. Ok it started off with me and my uncle hammed around in my grandmothers living room. She had a christmas cd on, so we decided to sing along. Except it was the loudest and most out of key singing possible. When we asked my grandpa to join us, he said no and claimed we were making him sick. That just made matters worse for him , and we did it even more. The next day we went to my cousins to celebrate christmas again. The main event of the night consisted of me and my bratty cousins heffing my Schitzophrenic uncle with a spatula taped onto a hockey stick. Well it started off with my cousin Nick continuously yelling at my uncle that the ottawa senators suck , and when he tried to protest he just interupted a hundred times like OH THEY SUCK! NO ... THEY SUCK!! until the point my uncle started screaming enraged jibberish at us , then we laughed in his face. Nick also did a dance around the room and in front of the tv sining a song about how the senators suck. This made him so angry that he went upstairs to watch the game.
Little did he know, theres some gay ass closet/attick thingy connected to that room. So while sydney stood in front of the tv and distracted him , me and nick slid a hockey stick with a spatula taped to the end through a crack in the wall and slapped him in the face a few times. When he yelled WHAT THE FUCK ! and punched the wall (because he couldn't see us or get to us in any way) i fell into a laundry basket and Nick pissed his pants for real.
Then while nick jumped around singing songs about my uncle with his new guitar, in front of the tv for the last 2 minutes of the game. Me and Sydney went in thru the ratty closet and started poking him with a different hockey stick . He dented the wall and screamed..ARE YOU HAVING FUN?! ARE YOU FUCKING HAVING FUN IN THERE YOU ASSHOLE KIDS!! i swear i never laughed that hard in my life.
I spent another good part of my holiday watching jerry springer episodes at like 2 am . It's changed a lot since i was in gr 6. One of them had Hillbillies in love, where the audience chants , WE LOVE HILLBILLIES and do hic dances on stage to mock them . Or sometimes they randomly yell YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK ! and ppl asking questions often take off theyre clothes for some discusting reason. The fattest of heffers run around in thongs , and the ugliest people try to insult the hillbillies, even though theyre the ones with about 23 inches of hair under their armpits. The whole show is nasty, but oddly entertaining. Oh yeah , another new addition to the show, a stripper on a pole in the backround takes off her shirt and encourages the audience to make fun of the guests. Then the audience diss her and she flashes them as a response. Uh ... Yeah.
Hillbillies ; 1 My Uncle; 0

I'm so happy

2003-12-29T05:03:00.000-05:00

WOOOOO I just got my Kodak CX6230 digital camera from Future Shop. 207$ on the dot. Now hopefully I won't pay about a billion more dollars on batteries.

So anyway for Christmas I went to Trois-Rivieres to stay with my brother's girlfriend's family. I expected it to be some log cabin in the middle of nowhere but it turns out that Trois-Rivieres is pretty much like LaSalle. The house had 2 PCs with high speed internet, satellite, DVD player... so I wasn't really bored at any point. I even got to play a little bit of CounterStrike while I was there. I won like 3$ playing poker and other card games... next stop Las Vegas!

Right now my friend is sleeping in my bed so I don't really have any place to lie down. I might just curl up on the couch though. And yes, that is my numbered pillowcase. Fuck you.

Shit, it turns out I desperately need a good image host. You can copy the link above by right clicking on it and clicking Copy Address, then pasting it in a new window. That should allow you to view the image.

Don't get all emotional on me here...

2003-12-24T08:49:00.000-05:00

Well guys Christmas is tomorrow so I'm gonna wish you all a good one right now. I'm leaving in about two hours to Trois-Rivieres (I think there might be an accent somewhere in there) until the 26th. I'm pretty sure there's nothing resembling a computer within half an hour of that place so this will most likely be my last blog until I get back. Stoney's also going somewhere for some reason so this place will be pretty much empty. I'm sure both the people that read this blog will be very saddened by this touching news. Anyway I gotta go eat something before my trip so see you Friday or Saturday.

Katz For Life

2003-12-24T00:08:00.000-05:00

This is what the blog might look like if I was obsessed with porn and replaced milk with LSD in my morning meals.

My brain hurts!

2003-12-23T14:55:00.000-05:00

Whoa.

time for something new

2003-12-23T04:19:00.000-05:00

alright the plan fo this blog is to think of something and type it as fast as humanly possible withouit cgoing back to corect mistakes so i gotta think os something funny and fast

lemme think now uh yeah so you know what relaly fucking bugs meÉ crowded busses fuck like fucking stinky old poeple jabbing you in the ribs with their fuckin roten elbows like they own the place. also loud girls who think what they have to say is more oiimportant than anytrhing esle in the world so you can hear them from china and shit. that makes me so mad. then when you go to get off the bus its fuckin packed near toh doors so you gotta like tackle some small grl to get past i hate atht. or when you go to get on and its so crowded that you cant get on so y0ou look all sad when the doors close on your face and it drives away and its cold out and snowing ansd shit, that fuckin sucsk. i guess you coauld say that i hate public tranpsortion in genral.

Just Do What I Do

2003-12-22T22:48:00.000-05:00

I pretty much ignore Christmas. It's like one of those bullies who just gets in your face but if you pretend it's not there then it's not so bad. By the way, if you type .99 cents it's like saying you didn't even spend one PENNY on your grandpa. It's like almost a penny, but not quite. You cheap ungrateful punk.

Oh and for Christmas (I mean, for whatever holiday is going on now besides Christmas) I got a new keyboard. Take that, you old hunk of scraggly plastic that was trying to pass off as a keyboard for God knows HOW long.

Logitech: 1; Old keyboard: 0

Xmas Bites My Ass

2003-12-22T20:38:00.000-05:00

I fucking HATE christmas. You have to go to a nasty mall full of stink-breath assholes, to buy stupid presents for people you dont even like, for a holiday you like even LESS. Im So angry! When my mom brought me to the store to shop for my family, i picked up a paper weight for my grandfather in an attempt to HURRY THE HELL OUT OF THAT HELLHOLE! and my mom yelled at me cuz i spend a gagillion dollars on my friends present and then try to buy my grandpa a .99 cent paperweight. Whatever, it's not like he deserves something better, like what i got him last year... GIRLS BUBBLE BATH! yeah , i got him pink peach bubble bath so he gets less presents and my grandmother gets more. Fuck Christmas. Also, today i took the whole dinner for the family , covered it in ketchup and brought it to my room. I ate half of the caserole out of the thing and put it back in the fridge with a fork in it, covered in ketchup. Take that, whoever made that stupid dinner. OH and another thing, one of lindz christmas presents from me this year, was a MOTHER MARY figurine, with an attempted decapitated head, and a burnt off face. I needed to take some anger out.
Ninjas; 0 Christmas ; 1

What the hell?

2003-12-20T18:28:00.000-05:00

Man, everytime I talk to Stoney on MSN she's always on her way out the door to a concert. What the fuck is going on?

StreaK: hey stoney
StreaK: whats going on
Stoney: EVANESCENCE CONCERT NO TIME TO TALK
StreaK: ummm

StreaK: hey stoney wanna come to a party
Stoney: sorri cant, going to full count concert with kayla

StreaK: stoney how would you like a million dollars and free food and trip to hawaii tonight
Stoney: simple plan is in montreal tonight

You get the point. The following is directed to everybody in a band:
GET THE FUCK OUTTA MONTREAL SO STONEY WILL ACTUALLY BE AROUND EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.

They Called Me Buck Tooth, Buck Tooth Beaver!

2003-12-15T18:54:00.000-05:00

hahaha after singing 45 parodies of songs, incorperating DADDY PISS PANTS into every lyrics possible. Ex ( It's alright to tell me , ur dad pissed, his panties.... Well I guess this is growing up for him!) - Dammit... Or... ( Ur daddys panty line has been wearing thin, his diaper has been tight since the day he PISSED IN THEM!) - Hit or miss... or ( If you see Piss Pants, he makes me sick ,preschool's over, and he smells like shit) - if u see jordan... or ( If you could be my daddy piss pants, i could be ur daddy piss pants too, you can tell me how u just pissed ur pants, and how ull do it again) - Punk Rock Princess... lol ... also coming soon , The Dyking Soundtrack, featuring cheesy disco ham like Staying Alive - the Beejees.
yeah anyways, where was i ... oh ya... we were playing in the snow and taking pictures and i did about 3 dives face first into the snow, 2 feeble attempts at ninja rolls, one horrible summer sault, another attempt at a flip , a bad try at a cart wheel , and i tried to help kayla do a handstand, which ended up in a two person dog pile and me getting my ass scratched by a picnic table. We also had a two person pyramid and i rode kayla down a snow bank like a SLED. Good times... anyways, Snakes a chink. And dance dance bat man is wicked. Also... we had a vicious dodge ball game against the boys today where Volleyballs should be conidered lethal weapons and only the retardedly lucky survive. Snake was probably partying with all the dancing bums on earth and i was at school getting balls whipped at me by the white men. That made me so mad.

In Canadien Jersey Spiderman We Trust

2003-12-14T22:04:00.000-05:00

Holy shit. Most of you probably won't even believe this blog. I'm still wondering if I made it up myself.

In Montreal there's this street called St. Catherine which is made up of mostly clothing stores, arcades and strip joints. It's really packed every weekend with tons of people going to the movies or meeting friends, and is a big part of Montreal's nightlife. Anyway, me, Stoney and our friend Kayla went to play Lazer Quest (laser tag at 7.50$ a pop) on Saturday night. After that we were walking along the street when Stoney looked over and saw the greatest thing I have ever seen in my entire life, taking into account all the other things I might see in the future. Across the street, there was a bum, wearing a Montreal Canadiens jersey and a Spiderman mask, dancing to cheap techno music for money. At this point I would like to remind you that I am not making this shit up. We ran across the street and talked to him for at least five minutes, except it was pretty much just excited screaming. He said to come back next saturday and he would be wearing a Batman costume. He also wanted us to take a picture but we didn't have a camera on us. Then he gave us lollipops, which I didn't eat because I don't take candy from strangers. No matter how many superhero costumes they're wearing. Sometime soon me and Stoney are going back with a camera so you guys can have some proof. Anyone interested can go see him Saturday nights on St. Catherine street in front of the Cathedral metro entrance, or a little further down the road (he was pretty much across the street from Lazer Quest). Tell him those fucked up kids sent you.

No, I didn't make that up.

Extremely heffed

2003-12-12T22:13:00.000-05:00

Holy shit, my ISP sucks so much metric ass I didn't think it was possible. I'm getting disconnected about 5 seconds after I connect to their crap service. I don't even know if this blog is gonna work. Look at their shitty website. I could make a better site using only a post-it note, three rubber bands and a buffalo nickel. Their internet would be more reliable if I wrote a bunch of zeros and ones and sent them by carrier pigeon to their destination. I could outrun their packets. If it's not fixed in like... 20 minutes, somebody is getting a million ninja stars in their EYE.

PRAISE ALLAH

2003-12-10T07:16:00.000-05:00

This is an important day in Canadian history. Not ONLY did I wake up before 6:30, which has probably happened only once when the house was burning down, my mom brushed her teeth before I took my shower. Some of you may remember my little rant about my morning routine. Well today all I did was wait an extra 2 minutes before taking my shower, and my mom said "Hey maybe I should brush my teeth before you go in there." At this point I calmly yelled "YES NOW YOU SEE!" directly in her face and jumped around the room. I think the neighbors might not like that, but I don't like when they play outdated songs from 1991 at max volume all day long.
In case there was any confusion, Snake is Stoney's nick name for me. It kinda comes from a teacher calling me Jake the Snake, and kinda comes from her being such a drug addict and doing 80 lines of coke before class every day.
Also, I have the song that goes "Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow, everybody needs a bosom!" in my head now. Stupid song.

Just thought I'd edit this in: Read this page now. If you don't laugh, please tell me so I can beat a sense of humor into you.

Oi Oi Snake! Getcha hair cut!

2003-12-09T21:26:00.000-05:00

So me and kayla come in to school today for the english exam en? but first we had gym , and i was heffed as hell and tired and sick. so first we sribble the football around in a hammed fashion. Then the teacher tells everyone to get in line, at this point where we were standing, two people face one way, and i start walking away. then i realize i was going the wrong way and go stand with them. The teacher comes and goes NO OVER THERE!! so we bunch up in the direction i was heading...this seems to be happening all over the class so it's not only us who were utterly confused. SINGLE FILE !!! he yells.. he means in a horizontal line but of corse we all line up vertically. NOT PILED UP ON EACHOTHER U DICKHEAD, just , side by side. yeah . He gets heffed and places us where we were supposed to go . Then hes like GET WIDE!GET WIDE! by this time im in that crouching SHUT UP I CANT TAKE IT HAHAHA position and i yell WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNN WIDE!and i dont get a response, well maybe i did but god knows i was laughing too hard to hear it. He rushes in front of the class in fear of losing the lines he just made because everyone has the attention span of about. wait... what was i talking about ? ... lol.. no .. ok... then yah , he starts jogging around trying to explain what a hook play and a slant and everything is to a bunch of 16 year olds with the brain capacity of 2 year olds before he loses our attention again and has to start all over. The look on his oh so flustered face just got me and i burst out laughing for the whole time he explained. I think i was crying and holding onto kaylas shoulder while slapping my knee. It wasn't like someone said a joke, i was simply laughing at his face. He knew too because that made him even redder and that made me laugh even harder.
Then the drill started. Two passes were thrown before everyone was like WHERE DO I GO?? HERE? WHATS A SLANT! CAN I GO TO THE BATHROOM? WHATS A QUARTERBACK!etc etc. by this time the teacher is almost in tears and i think he is almost suicidal and i think i just blew a pissed my pants 15 times in a row. Also , i don't have Scurvy anymore.
This just in , Snake speaks chinese.

Sit Ubu sit. Good dog.

2003-12-09T20:49:00.000-05:00

Look how close the old man comes to getting a firework launched right into his chest. If I were the dog's owner, I'd probably punt him into the next country.

Yeah it takes a long time to load but what do you want me to do about it.

HOORAY FOR SCURVEY!

2003-12-08T14:32:00.000-05:00

So me and kayla are both sick as HELL. When you think about someone sick as hell you think about them in bed like arhghhh :S kinda like M at his birthday party except he wasn't sick he was just drunk and we wasn't in bed he was in the mud. ANYWAYS me and kayla aren't sick in bed, we're both on MSN laughing about CHING CHONG and YO STAKE! IM blasting music and that sneaky beef is eating 7 krispy kremes and a whole pepperoni. Id probably be doing the same but my taste buds have been eliminated , Or something. We just stay on here and laugh all day while those poor suckers at school are struggling over the English exam and hamming theyre way through the rest of the school day. On another note, our friends in LaSalle Catholic are probably doing the same, AKA SNAKE i hope you're getting scratched up in gym class and balls whipped at ur gimped arm by the black men. This just in, Scurvey rocks. That's right, I said it.
And another thing, i just got a picture of my newly married aunt and uncle as a christmas card type thing ... can't they waste their money on something a bit more hilarious?
WHAT YOU SAY :O
Ohhh yeah , that CEAL D crack head finally e-mailed me an appology for mailing me all that bullshit, the last letter was even about her friend getting an abortion. Don't you feel smart!

Sickey

2003-12-08T14:08:00.000-05:00

Ok ! So i look in the mirror , I look so fucken hilarious that i start to laugh at myself. My hair is screwed as HELL , and my face is even whiter than normal , none of my clothes match and im always fucken sweating or freezing to death. Never mind the fact that i probably have chicken pox or scurvey or something, now i look like a 20 year old dog who hasn't eaten in 27 years. Also, I think that Ching Chongs Guide To Ninjas and Codes and Stuff is funny.

Smith's Pitt

2003-12-08T13:42:00.000-05:00

So matt says, Hey ! it's smith!! and i says, Smith Sniffs. So then kayla goes, Smith pitt? and im like no i said smith stiff! so matt says no you didn't you said sniff spiff! kayla says what? Spith Smith? So i says to both of them i says NO i said SWIFT PIT! .... Stiff sniff!!! kayla exclaims. Spiff Smith! matt replies. Splif stiff? i ask? NOOO stiff pit!! the both scream. OH yeah , what were we talking about again?
THEN the TV has the excellent idea of putting a dislexic baby with mechanical eyelashes on that wears a book on his head as a poor excuse for a hat and the mom "tickles it" with one finger... that makes me so mad.

Bunn you, beep test

2003-12-04T09:52:00.000-05:00

Today our gym class did the dreaded beep test. Let me explain what this beep test is. You play this standardized cassette on a stereo while you run back and forth in a gym between a certain distance. Every time a beep plays, you must be at the other end of the gym. If you don't make it in time, you stop and you get a certain mark. Basically, it's beep walk beep jog beep jog beep run. So at the beginning, you can take your time but when it gets to around 4 (the number isn't the number of beeps but rather every 4 or 5 beeps it goes up half a number) you have to speed up. We got to 11 but the teacher stopped it at that point. I was kinda happy cuz I could go and pass out but I also wanted to continue to see how long I could go. Now I have about 80 forms of cancer in various parts of my body and I'm so hungry I might eat this keyboard (I'm in computer class, and finished my assignment). I think I'm gonna go play something at MiniClip.com now.

A Day In The Life Of Snake

2003-12-03T22:08:00.000-05:00

1. Get heffed by mom yelling like 747 fighter jet...HELLO!
2. Feed Jackson
3. Go in shower listen to mom rag about toothbrush. Or something.
4. Put clothes in dryer for 15 mintues.
5. Fix hair like constipated Dragon Ball Z character.
6. Eat green chips and the orange ones.
7. Eat Peperage Pharm Gold Fish
8. Walk to Jolicouer listening to Dust Brothers or Spin Doctors or Chemical Brothers Or Spin Brothers or whatever I listen to.
8 and heif. Buy Jenga
9. Go to School.
10. Heff shesh about jokes with Stoney.
11. Make noise everytime Palmer attempts to teach
12. Shoot copy book up in air.
13. Make Ninja star.
14. Eat Goldfish.
15 . Put on Bananas In Pajamas Costume.
16. Play Jenga.
17. Shoot food around in the caf and beg ppl for money.
18. Dyke around the mall area with Shesh.
19. Get hammed up in gym class and lose the handball tournament.
20. Get enraged that Stoney switched schools and parties with all the rock stars.
21. Go to 123 stop
22. Wait at Ex-Wal Mart for 20 hours.
23. Go to metro , talk to Stoney about nothing for 39 hours.
24. Scrape up enough money for a bag of chips.
25. Laugh.
26. Eat Goldfish
27. Go home, play jenga.
28 . Take off bananas in Pajamas costume.
29. Beat up brother.
30. Yell at mom about ugly items she bought for me.
31. Eat Jenga.
32. Talk to stoney on that thing. Ya.
33. Blog rants about fat things.
34. Heff everyone.
35. Eat Chemical Brothers.
36. Play Jackson.
37. Pretend to be in bed but really are on Voice convo with Stoney. WHAT YOU SAY!
38. Go to sleep on hard/soft/lumpy/smooth bed.
39. Dream of Country houses.
40. Repeat.

A Day In The Life of Stoney

2003-12-03T22:06:00.000-05:00

This is some dumb little thing where me and Stoney write what we think it's like to be the other person for a day.

06:00am: Wake up to sound of Dad stumbling around hallway in search of nourishment. Go back to sleep.
06:30am: Mom wakes me up, I throw nearest pillow/bracelet/alarm clock/cement brick at her. Try to get some sleep.
07:00am: Mom wakes me up again, so I yell "GEEK YOU" when I mean to say something else. I think she gives up now.
08:45am: Wake up for last time, realize I'm late for school. Too late to do anything about that now. Eat gigantic bowl of Oreos trying to pass it off as cereal. Take 40 minute shower, take about an hour to get dressed (all girls do this).
09:35am: Get to school, tell principal I was too drugged up to find the bus stop. He believes me and replies by going "YO GUY!".
12:00pm: LUNCH TIME! Time to smoke drugs with all my friends, throw salad dressing at people and play hackey sack. Lunch is pretty much like the rest of the day, except we smoke now.
12:30pm: Take my time getting back to class so I can take a nap in the park.
01:00pm: Back in class. 50% of students are stoned, and teacher is hungover.
03:00pm: TIME TO GO MEET SNAKE AT THE METRO
04:15pm: FUCKIN HELL I'VE BEEN WAITING HERE 30 MINUTES AND HE JUST COMES IN NOW SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT!
04:15-05:30pm: Laugh at random things with Snake, including stupid babies and Pat One.
06:15pm: Get home, mom wonders where I was and why I can't stop laughing.
06:45pm: Eat supper while giving my pet cats large quantities of table scraps even though my mom tells me not to. Dad says something to me but I ignore him.
07:00pm: Talk with Snake on MSN about the daily events some more, think of blogs, check e-mail etc.
10:00pm: Mom tells me to go to sleep so I tell her I am then stay up anyway.
12:00am: NINJA ROLLS IN MOM'S ROOM WOOOOOO
12:15am: Sleep now. I'm going to be tired tomorrow.

Fuck this shit

2003-12-03T17:55:00.000-05:00

I'm totally forgetting about this "typing like an idiot" for a week thing. I can't fucking do it. I'll type something, then look at it and think "How can I make this seem stupider?" then erase like 16 letters and replace them with 2 numbers. I just can't do it.

Today was such a crap day. I woke up in a super great mood thinking that I would like find a treasure chest or something on the way to school. I should have gone back to bed. The day itself was pretty boring and I was so damn hungry I almost fainted like six times a minute. Finally last period I had gym and we were finishing off our handball tournament. In the Finals I got scratched, shoved and pushed onto the floor and we lost 4-2. I was all tired and out of breath and injured and had to go to the mall with a friend for Christmas shopping. There, I see Lindsay C., the girl that went with Stoney to Toronto. She tells us this gigantic long story of the best day of her life and then I have to come home and read it again on here. I start getting angry and Stoney is all like "You should be happy!"

Yeah, I go to school and get the crap beat out of me (and STILL lose the game), almost waste away from food deprivation while you're off in Toronto getting into Blink concerts for free and probably doing cocaine with every rock star on Earth and I'm supposed to be happy. I fucking hate you, Stoney.

wtf stop going to TORONTO to see Blink 182!

2003-12-03T17:20:00.000-05:00

Ok so , the original plan was that i go to toronto tuesday in an attempt to see blink 182 without a ticket for the show, or permission from my mom . Kind of like HEY MOM IM IN TORONTO SEE U TOMORROW sort of deal. Me and my friends Lindsay and Cayleigh bought our 100$ bus tickets last friday , and later found out that the interview at much music was cancelled. Monday i was taking a nap and lindsay c calls me and says BLINK IS COMING TO MUCH!!!!! Then at like 9:30 i decided to tell my mom we were going because apparently there were no busses coming home past 9 ocklock and we would have to stay there overnight. My mom basically said, Why didn't you tell me, i would've helped you plan it. UGH!:@ lol . anyways . Ok so , At 6 am on Tuesday lindsay C picks me up and tells me shes not allowed staying overnight but it was ok cuz there ended up being a bus leaving at midnight. We go to Berri Uqam with Cayleigh. On the bus, we made signs that said like PET MY CHESHIRE CAT! and WE SKIPPED SCHOOL TO COME HERE FROM MONTREAL . Cayleigh sprayed a man in the face with gel while he was trying to sleep and he woke up like WTF EN. When we got to toronto, he told us where much music was and gave us good luck for getting into the show since he heard all our conversations. We ate hotdogs on the way that we put mustard mayo bacon bits relish pickles and ya it was gross lol . ok so we see much music and almost get hit by a truck trying to get there, but we claimed "it doesn't matter" . We got in line, and got the last 3 wrist bands to get into the interview!! During the interview, Mark tried to talk to someone in the crowd but was interrupted when Lindsay yelled WE'RE FROM MONTREAL!! then they said, why hello:) Je Va Au Plage! lol we also got autographs and i dyked in speakers corner the way snake told me 2. Then we shopped around a bit and ate at a mcdonalds FULL of blink fans, hardley anymore we talked to had tickets. Apparently they were impossible to get because the show cost 1$ and it sold out in 7 minutes. We heard stories of ppl being in line for tickets since 630 am and even the ppl first in line didnt get any. Someone even clicked Buy Now on the internet the second it turned 10 ocklock and they were already sold out! So it looked like we werent gonna get in, but everyone wished us luck anyway.
The show was supposed to start at 8, so we took a Street Car there, and i talked to this lawyer who apparently used to be a punk with green hair and listened to the Exploited back in her day . Pretty weird. Anyway we got to the place at like 6, and found out the tickets were going for two hundred and 50 dollars!!! YA RIGHT!! so we just stood around kinda , we didnt kno what to do. Then a Guy came from inside the place. He asked for our names, and said to give the ppl inside our ID to get into the show. We were like for how much $$? hes like " Free." Lindsay C and Me...BURST INTO TEARS!!! i never thought that would happen but it did!!! So we got in line for 2 hours in the freezing cold and sang 99 bottles of beer on the wall , with the rest of the line. It was funny and great. Then we got in the show, and i got killed in the mosh pit, it was super amazing and fun! I got punched in the mouth and now i have a fat lip, i got slammed onto the floor and fucked up my rib . I lost my shoe like 39 times and i have bruises everywhere. BEST. DAY.EVER! after the show, we took a taxi to the bus station and slept all the way home.. Now i just have to tell my dad that we went on a feild trip with school to Toronto the way my mom told me to O_o!

This is probably a bad idea

2003-12-03T07:14:00.000-05:00

i have decided that 4 the next week i am going 2 allow myself 2 type like this. this is prolly a stupid idea but well c. every1 on msn should notice right away bcuz i never type like this. i feel stupid already.

Snake in Pajamas

2003-12-01T17:54:00.000-05:00

Bunn My Band Part 2

2003-11-30T21:36:00.000-05:00

Ok first, I go on the top bunk to escape the groping assholes and their scandalous nails that pinch you until you they can't pinch no more. Then someone starts heffing me so in an attempt to defend myself i start hanging over the guard rail. Next thing i know someone is pushing me and the other guy is pulling me forward and my legs went up in the ceiling to the point where i thought i would end my life of doom with a nasty 8 foot fall head first into lindz tv. Luckily i was saved at the last minute by lindsay C, maybe next time i won't be so lucky.
Also , when we were walking home, i noticed my friends kicking around some rotten cushion. I decided to pick it up to shoot it at someone. As i bent down i felt this raunchy mist enter my eyes and a ratty sogged pillow hit me in the face. (someone kicked it on me) i screeched and then exclaimed IT SPRAYED ME WITH DISEASE! when my eyes were able to SEE again all i saw was my friends all in the crouching (i cant take it im gonna piss my pants ) position and laughing like hell. I just laughed it off wishing i coulda seen that from another angle in some other form or something. Also, I hate poutine.

Wtf Stop Listening to the DUST brothers

2003-11-30T21:01:00.000-05:00

Ok i dunno who they are and i dont care so im heffed.

Arabian Basketball Jazz

2003-11-29T23:00:00.000-05:00

Listen I know I haven't had a really good post on here in a while. I'm quite aware, so bear with me for a few days. In the meantime, you can check out my WinAmp playlist here. You might like some of the stuff on it, or at least give it a try. You can see I like a lot of different types of stuff, but not everything in each category. Nobody better tell me rap is shit or whatever because I believe that you can't generalize music into sucky or not sucky. What I mean is, you can't say all rap sucks or all techno is good. To me it really depends on the artist, and even some artists can have good songs or bad songs. I really can't stand when people say ALL of a certain genre sucks, without listening to some of the better artists out there. But that's just me.

This guy knows where it's at

2003-11-26T21:44:00.000-05:00

Everything makes so much sense now. Read it all the way through, it's worth it.

I have an addiction

2003-11-26T07:24:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. My name is Jacob and I have an addiction.

This isn't easy for me to say. Almost every morning... I put my clothes in the drier for 5-7 minutes before leaving my house. This makes them toasty warm for just about the length of time it takes me to get to the metro near my house. It uses electricity but I can't help myself. The thing is, while everyone is walking around freezing, I have my own little atmosphere inside my sweater making me perfectly comfortable and warm.
Everyone is stupid but me.

The Dust Brothers give me action in the pants

2003-11-25T19:57:00.000-05:00

Everyone with access to an internet connection should listen to something by The Dust Brothers. They are the ultimate best.

Dey ya go

2003-11-23T23:25:00.000-05:00

Those with eyeballs will notice the brand spanking new Shoutbox on the right. Those with something to say will use it. No stupid shit cuz I'll just erase the message.

My compooter done broke again

2003-11-21T19:56:00.000-05:00

What's that you say? Corrupted Windows system file? Can't load Windows? Repair from recovery console using Setup CD-ROM? Can't find said CD? Gotta make 6 floppy boot disks when I can only find 5 working ones? Finally found an extra one? Taking really long to load up and might not even work when it's done loading? Oh okay.

YES THAT IS AWESOME

2003-11-20T18:22:00.000-05:00

This just in: a fireworks factory exploded somewhere. This is the best thing ever.

Bring me a tool shed, for I am hungry!

2003-11-20T07:33:00.000-05:00

A whole bunch of scienticians and other smart people have been saying breakfast is the most important meal of the day for quite some time now. Usually I'm in a rush so I don't bother, but today I decided I might make some scrumalicious Belgian waffles.

What's that you say? They won't fit in the toaster? Yes. That's right. THEY DON'T FIT IN THE TOASTER. Belgian waffles are the square ones that are really thick and puffy, but this company decided to make them extra thick and fluffy. Thicker than the slots in my toaster. So I ended up having just a regular apple for breakfast. I might pass out today, but at least I can sue when I slam my head on a desk or something.

Random Hatred

2003-11-19T23:01:00.000-05:00

Just a list of things and people I despise.
This damn show Train 48.. I never watched it or gave it a chance but im sure it's gay , that's what's gay./ When my mind goes blank in times like these/STM/Miss Palmer/Miss Piggy/Ie; 98% of the staff and students at LCCHS/kosher meat ugh/The french speaking population/The english speaking population/The population./ Live On Release and other shitty all girl bands/ Brittney Spears and her fetish with that whore Madonna/ Arthur Miller and his torturous plays/ Bad french movies that exclaim..POOOUUURRRQUUUUOOOIII when the mouth is so obviously pronouncing the word "WHY"./ Average Joe and all the contestants with theyre fucken ugly red faces/ feet/ 10 charlie horses in a row/ that tape where i sing JINGLE BELLS when i was like 5 years old that lindsay wont let me forget/ When u dye ur hair blue and it turns green after 2 washes and everyone feels the need to point it out as if you're not aware of the color of your own hair/ the stinky 195 ride after school/ when snakes not at the metro / Ceal D/ People who don't accept the fact that i am a ninja or will be.. well i like them a lot ok!?! or something/ Thats all for now.. this isnt the end.

BUNN YOU "Ceal D"

2003-11-19T22:36:00.000-05:00

Ok this fucken RETARD "ceal D" keeps obviously mistyping an email address and sending me personal love letters which are also make no sense and have bda engalish. So i decided to start responding to these mindless emails...

Example Number One.

Wed, Nov 12 / 2003
I feel as thoguh my behavior lately is breakignus apar tand taht's y u probably feel u ahve to say thigns are okay a lot. becasue I dont' knwo if they are or not I"m so out if it
i dont' knwo what ends up or anythign I wish taht I could control what's goign on but i can't for right now the only thign that I do knwo id that I love you

My Reply: ...What are you... DRUNK?!

Example #2:
Wednesday , Nov 19/2003
HEy baby I just owke up and I'm thinking of you. I fell asleep in the middle of studying last night at around 9:30. i really hope to talk to u tonight cuz i really wanted to talk to you last night, and I'm bummed that I didn't!
I"m going to go get ready for school now tho. I love you and i hope that everything is going good!
I hope u have a great day!
Love, Cecile

My response: Heay Babae... I haed a Bit 23 moach Tow drunK! I Laove You atwo ... Ill sea yuo afater skawel tomraow wiath a bgi Supriose!
Loave ytuo!
Bey

-hopefully this person will get the message that they are DS and are not sending their gay letters to the right email. I don't know anyone name Ceal D nor do I plan on Knowing this crack head, But this just in, she does send good forwards... Check Out this funny LINK
Also , I hate you.
Ps < Feel free to add this person and harass them at any time iam_baby_phat@hotmail.com >

Maybe I am and maybe I am....not...

2003-11-19T22:22:00.000-05:00

Water man kicks infinite ass, I suggest you check it out now.

Best inventions ever

2003-11-18T18:58:00.000-05:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again. The two single best inventions ever are "food" and "sleep".

It all started with food being invented sometime in the year 1 million BC when a caveman thought to himself "Maybe if I put something in my mouth and chew on it, my stomach won't hurt so much." Well, it worked. Soon came ideas such as:
- Killing your food before you eat it.
- Cooking your food before you eat it.
- Killing your food before you cook it.
- A&W hamburgers
Since then food has evolved into the greatest invention of all time. If you don't believe me then how about you don't eat for a few days then tell me how great food is.

Sleep was invented some time in the 14th Century in France. Someone came up with the crazy idea of "I wonder if we closed our eyes for hours at a time we wouldn't be so goddamn tired all the time." Of course it was France so it probably sounded like "le time" or something. Soon came beds and blankets, and eventually those little trays you can have bed and breakfast with. The great thing about these two inventions is that if you're hungry and there's no food around, just go to sleep for a couple hours. When you wake up the chances are somebody has either done groceries or cooked a meal in your house.

Cannibalism and bedbugs both originated in Australia. Fuck them.

I concur

2003-11-18T07:13:00.000-05:00

Bah. It turns out that the bus drivers aren't on strike; it's the maintenance workers. So basically as soon as those asshole drivers shut up, the mechanics decide to take a shit fit? Why didn't they fucking say something while the drivers were at it? Everything I said about this strike being gay still stands, just place the blame somewhere else now. I'm wondering if maintenance workers are harder to replace than bus drivers, or easier; if they were harder the STM would listen to them and I could take the bus home again. If they're easily replaceable maybe this strike could last a bit longer than expected. Either way, STM is kinda stupid for not running enough buses when the students need them. They should take the risk a bus breaking down and help us out. But that's just my opinion.

STM: 1, My feet: 0
P.S. Hot damn, Stoney. Learn to type!

FUCK U STCUM

2003-11-17T21:20:00.000-05:00

FIRST OF ALL FUCK U STCUM OR STM OR WUEVER THE HELL U ASSHOLES CALL URSELF NOW. YAH FIRST U GO ON STRIKE, AND MAKE THE RULES FOR WHEN THE BUSSES WILL BE RUNNING, AND THEN BREAK THOSE RULES AND LEAVE ABOUT 200 STUDENTS TO WAIT AN HOUR AND A HALF TO CATCH THE BUS OUTSIDE OF MY SCHOOL. IM SO ENRAGED THEYLL BE LUCKY IF I DONT THROW NINJA STARS INTO THEYRE FUCKEN TIRES. ALL I KNO IS THIS SHIT BETTER END SOON BEFORE I CHOP SOMEBODY.

Ninjas; 0 STM; About to get many ninja stars in their EYE

Hey Chris

2003-11-16T22:14:00.000-05:00

We're still on in Boston.

You shouldn't be able to see this

2003-11-16T16:43:00.000-05:00

Well blogSpot.com seems to be down meaning I can't read my blog but I can still post stuff to it.

I am the lord Jesus Christ. I think I'm gonna get wasted and go beat up hookers.

Anyone who gets the reference gets a free cookie, but not if your blog's address is allchris.blogspot.com.

Got something to say?

2003-11-15T22:22:00.000-05:00

Every weekend starting now I will post one long post containing a bunch of comments from people who read this blog. The way it's going to work is: You e-mail me with the subject of your e-mail as "blog comment", and the e-mail containing your comments. If your subject is NOT "Blog comment", I may decide not to show it on the site. You've been warned.
Example: If you wanted to comment on something, you would put your e-mail's subject to "Blog comment" and then say something like "Good idea, dipshit" in your e-mail. You can leave your name and e-mail if you wish, or you can ask not to have them shown. Then at the end of the week I compile your comments (leaving out the pointless or stupid ones) and post them in a blog on this page.

Simple? E-mail your comments to streak@playcs.com.

Take off, eh!

2003-11-15T15:41:00.000-05:00

Strange Brew is the funniest movie I have ever seen. I didn't even know something that was made before I was born could be worth my time. If you don't watch this movie I will come to your house and I will cut you.

Ninja Star in Your Eye For Real

2003-11-15T02:39:00.000-05:00

I dunno what genius put this on the web for me to find, but bunn you... it's crazy . MAKE A NINJA STAR AND SHOOT IT AT YOUR MOM

Bunn My Band

2003-11-15T00:38:00.000-05:00

First I just sit on the steps playing guitar in Lindz basement but then those dykes won't stop yelling LINNNNNDZZZ put on a cd!!! So she makes me get out of her "Dj Seat" which in actual fact is cold hard bad stairs and makes me go indulge in the bunk bed with those smelly assholes. I had to cram right in the middle while they always fucken Blasted (farted) and laughed when they were "rotten". Everyones breath stank like cheese and it was about 400 degrees in there. Not to mention the fact that lindz's piss room was malfunctioning and the stench was more raunchy than ever. We had to listen to bad Tool Remix's and watch horrible attempts at Super Mario 1. Then came the worst part, when i complained about the rancid smell I got attacked by them. They started tickling me and pinching me with no mercy and someone gave me about 4 charlie horses in a row insisting that i did it to them 1st. i would NEVER wish that pain upon anybody nor do i even kno how to perform a charlie horse. Those dirty assholes can just wait till i learn ninjistu and then JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED!

Smelly assholes ; 1 Ninja ; 0

I'm tired.

2003-11-14T01:47:00.000-05:00

Finally got the site looking like it wasn't coded by blind autistic monkeys with hot pokers under their feet. My posts will have the light blue text while Stoney's will have the pink text in the title, instead of that colored background shit. And of course the navbar on the right looks super duper clean and nice and stuff. ENJOY.

STUPID COMPUTER

2003-11-13T18:35:00.000-05:00

I can't get the site working exactly the way I want it but this will have to do for now. Anyone with complaints/suggestions can send them directly to the garbage can.

This just in.

2003-11-13T07:34:00.000-05:00

Chris linked my blog under the "Ninja" section of his links list. I think I should get a samurai sword or something now.
By the way, did anybody see that lightning storm last night? I think if a ninja saw that shit he would be flipping out and killing people even moreso than ever.

NINJA STAR IN YOUR EYE

2003-11-12T19:43:00.000-05:00

Bran makes you poop

2003-11-12T14:56:00.000-05:00

One time I was at my brother's house and I asked him what was for breakfast. He said "Raisin Bran" so I was like "I don't like raisins..." Then he thought for a few seconds and said "Bran." Damn him. I think I ended up eating toast or something.
Yeah, shredded wheat is gay and hurts the roof of your mouth unless it's soggy from milk at which point it's already gross to the power of disgusting.

Honeycombs for life.

I hate mint like hellll.

2003-11-12T14:36:00.000-05:00

This just in! Shredded Wheat & BRAN is fucken disgusting. Yes, it’s even worse than MINT. I realized this after filling up my bowl like hell and taking one torturous bite that made me see what a mistake I’ve made. I tried to give it to my cat but she just glared at me so I was forced to eat the whole bowl. A suitable punishment for not reading the warning on the box (aka the NAME OF THE CEREAL).

Shredded Wheat & Bran; 1 Ninjas; 0

What's WRONG with you?

2003-11-11T17:39:00.000-05:00

For some reason Stoney decided to write about 5935 to the power of 18 blogs today (5) so you all have something to read if you scroll down a bit. In other news, there was a MEGA NINJA FREAKOUT FIGHT today after school in which I got to hold some people back from pounding each other even more than they already did. I think I lost my virginity somewhere during the fight. Sadly, there were no limbs lost/shuriken thrown.

She's Not Dyking Anywhere

2003-11-11T14:39:00.000-05:00

I just want to point out that Bubbalicious is the worst invention EVER. That being said I'll tell you about the lady who lives across the yard from Lindz.
Ok. In grade 6 or 7 me and Lindz started noticing a middle aged chink always washing her dishes in her kitchen. Lindz got out her binoculars and we spied on her for a while. Knowing nothing about drugs, we then made the educated guess that she was constantly MAKING drugs in her kitchen , and then on became known as "The Lady Who Makes Drugs" . Or sometimes just " the lady" .
Anyways , we decided to take it upon ourselves to punish this criminal and start shooting pizza crusts in her yard for our amusement. Sometimes friends would come over and join us. One thing led to another and the more snow came the more food we shot. At one point we had tomatos, bananas, eggs, bagels, Pizza Begals, Pizza Slices, Hotdogs, Unidentified Rotten food of any sort , Apples, cheese and peices of cake in there all at once because the snow kept piling up and she wouldn't notice until spring. One day , we had the bright idea of making what we like to call , a Creation. Creations consist of a coke bottle full of the nastiest food you can find, such as nasty cheese, oregano and other bad spices, eggs, mayonaise ( anything that will rot) , fruits, cereal, BAGEL BITES and other things that made it have a puke-like texture... anyways we fill a 2L coke bottle with shit until it smells extremly nasty. We also filled two ziplock baggies up with this creation and went out into the back yard. We launched the coke bottle and the 2 baggies and fell in the snow laughing before running back into the house.
When spring came the lady must've had a great suprise, and also lindz grandma , considering we missed her yard a lot of the time.
Other times we would take out our Laser Pointers on boring Saturday nights and point them at the lady, one at her wall and the other one in her eye... She would then do one of two things, 1) duck under the counter or 2) look at us... If she looked at us lindz would usually pick up a kitchen knife at point it to her window in a threatening manner, when the lady ran away we would laugh and go back to playing Nintendo.
So yeah , this has been going on for about... 4 years now, and we still shoot the occasional food in her yard but we aren't AS interested. Until last weekend that is.We were devestated to notice the tree in her yard had been cut down. Assuming she moved , we looked in her window, and noticed what appeared to be a new woman! We instantly pulled out the frozen chicken nuggets and started drawing swastikas on them with a black marker and launching them into her yard like there was no tomorrow. Then we noticed ... our eyes had deceived us... It was still the lady who made drugs... OOOO YEA!

Bunn You Milk Man!

2003-11-11T13:35:00.000-05:00

ARGH! Why did there have to be oreos! I thought I was being slick this morning taking the last cup of milk and eating all the oreos. Now I made Kraft Dinner and guess what NO MILK! Don't try this at home it is utterly disgusting and possibly fatal.

Stop Taking Shits In The Bus En

2003-11-11T12:54:00.000-05:00

Ok the busride home from school has been a torture since the 1st day of school. Not only does it smell like someone puked in a sac of shit and shot it all over the bus, but theres all these retards yelling and pushing everyone. The bus driver then turns the heat on to about 95 degrees so everyone sweats and it gets wiped on you. Everyones school bag are packed to the rim so don't try to move around in any fashion. Oh yeah and don't forget the people that get on the bus on the way . These people include, Horrible french quebecers with BEAVERS on theyre head... I swear to god.. Ok wtf is it 1860? i really don't think its necessary to wear animal carcusses on your head in the middle of fall anymore sir...What makes it even better is I have to take it all the way to the end of the line and catch another STINKING bus there thats just as bad except its filled with delusional oldies who never know whether theyre coming or going. They always have about 40 grocery bags with them and expect you to give them your seat...YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE OLD TIMER!
Ninjas : 1 ; Oldies : 0

Barf a Tron

2003-11-11T12:40:00.000-05:00

Ok theres this ugly barfing bitch named stefanie i just thought id take the time to share her extremely ugly site with everyone. PASTY WHITE BITCH.

The CIA should hire me or something

2003-11-11T07:19:00.000-05:00

I'm currently at my brother's house due to family problems and my computer at home SHOULD be off. However thanks to AudioMatch.net, I was able to catch my little brother on my computer even though I wasn't within a thousand feet of my house! I noticed that the site reported I was listening to Drowning Pool, even though I'm POSITIVE I don't have any of their songs on my PC. That means my brother must have been on my PC long enough to download the song and listen to it. AudioMatch's playlist also shows I have listened to tonnes of CKY last night, even though I wasn't home. Therefore we can conclude that my brother has indeed been on the PC for quite some time now. Tell me that's not fucking sneaky or something. I called him and before he could even say hello I screamed "GET THE FUCK OFF MY COMPUTER AND GET OUT OF MY ROOM!". There was about a second of silence as his mind tried to figure out was going on which was pure satisfaction for me.

Ninja: 1, Brother: 0

New Found Ninja Obsession

2003-11-11T07:13:00.000-05:00

It was very late.

I was trying to settle down for sleep, all curled up cozy in my comforter and watching the last of a biography on Cher when a black thunderbolt burst into the room.

Face covered in what looked like a pair of black underwear except for the wild eyes full of menace, the dark, gangly weirdo struck what was supposed to be a Ninja pose. It then attempted a somersault on the floor, i

it was such an awkward tumble that floor shook so hard the pictures almost fell off the walls. It shrieked hysterically and made a fast exit once it saw the potential murder in my horrified expression.

My daughter...the ninja idiot.

Ok that is my mom’s version of the story that happened yesterday. Here is mine.

About an hour after I was already assumed to be sleeping, I was in my room searching “How To Be A Ninja” on Google. I stumbled upon instructions on how to make yourself look like a ninja. Snickering mechanically I carefully put on my eye make up and wrapped a shirt around my face and neck the way the site told me to. Then I practiced some ninja poses before I made my attack. At just about midnight I attempted a ninja roll into my moms sleeping area (AKA the living room). It didn’t quite look as GRACEFUL as a proper ninja roll because I started laughing and I hurt my neck . So in a panic I started doing some summer saults. There wasn’t much room so when I felt my legs knock something over I sprang up. I heard my mom yelling but I couldn’t see because my warrior mask (aka black t shirt) was over my eyes. I started tripping everywhere and that made me laugh even harder which was making me suffocate. I struggled to get the shirt off my face so I could breathe and the minute I did I saw my moms glare. It appeared that she had turned into some sort of demonic sea queen while I was rolling around on the floor. I quickly vanished from the scene before she could attack.

The next morning I woke up to the sound of screaming from the other room like I told you usually happened on school days. “I’m toooo tirrreeeddd” I exclaimed… “ARGH ARGH YOU WERENT TO TIRED TO ACT LIKE A NINJA AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT” was the angered reply from the monster in the next room.

Ninja: 1 , Mom: 0

Anyways that’s my version. Who do YOU believe! o_O!
Oh yeah and here's the site if you shit heads wanna try it... Be A Super Cool Ninja Warrior

Neo could fucking kill Yoda

2003-11-10T22:18:00.000-05:00

Holy shit it's been a long time since I blogged. Let's see, what happened in the past week or so.

I saw The Matrix Revolutions on Wednesday night, but bear with me for the delay since then because with about 10 minutes to go in the movie, there was a slow motion punch and my eyes fucking exploded. It was pretty good, a little confusing and definitely worth your 6$ and/or climbing through an air vent to sneak into the theatre. I'm not gonna ruin it for you all just yet.
Some people say Yoda is stronger than Neo but I think they're all dumb and stupid and possibly dumb. Neo could fucking explode Yoda and dodge his gay lightsaber before Yoda could even blink. And don't say shit like Neo only has powers in the Matrix because that argument can easily be countered with: a) Watch the third movie and listen for the explanation of his powers b) Yoda is fucking gay.
This just in: Ninjas are awesome.

Umm, I also saw some drunk people downtown. That was probably the highlight of the week.

DON'T LOOK HERE

2003-11-04T22:35:00.000-05:00

CHRIS IS A POOPYHEAD. FURTHERMORE I WOULD LIKE TO ADD THAT WHATEVER TOWN HE IS FROM PROBABLY SUCKS.

Scary Movie 3 sucks

2003-11-03T07:42:00.000-05:00

You know that comedy thing people do where you take a joke that's really funny at first and you stretch it to the point where it's not funny anymore, except the fact that it's still going on makes it funny again? A good example of this is when Austin Powers is pissing behind the fountain in Goldmember. HILARIOUS!

It doesn't work if the joke isn't funny in the first place. DO YOU HEAR ME, IDIOTS? Scary Movie 3 was really extra not funny. Don't waste your money.

STOP IT!

2003-11-02T16:42:00.000-05:00

Fat people + paintball gun = comedy gold!

He drank me drink drink drink

2003-11-02T14:58:00.000-05:00

So last friday was the halloween party where I got to take care of drunk people since I was the only sober one around... people do really dumb things when they're drunk. Someone told my friend that her eyes looked foggy and she yelled out "HELP I CAN'T SEE NOW" because she believed him, what a dork. I had to walk her around the block because she wanted fresh air but she couldn't walk in a straight line if her life depended on it. She falls in the wet grass on someone's lawn and gets covered with grass and dirt and just LIES THERE. I tell her to get up at which point she yells "I AM UP" and rolls around some more. The highlight of the night was probably when a random black guy walking across the street saw my friend throwing up in a bus shelter and screamed "YO GUY HALLOWEEN BE ABOUT THE CANDY MON NOT THE ALCOHOL" to which I could only reply "Ooo yeah!". Next party I go to I'm gonna make up for being sober at this one so be prepared for one hell of a blog whenever that is.

I go bed now

2003-10-30T23:59:00.000-05:00

Today was a pretty slow day so there's only one blog about the update and this one telling you that I go bed now. Huzzah!

I am the king of CSS

2003-10-30T18:22:00.000-05:00

Well, in my head I am. I made a minor change to the template that gives all of Stoney's posts a pink title and mine a blue one, so you know which ones will be funny (blue) and which ones will be messed up and uncomprehensible (pink). We're working on getting Stoney an Audiomatch.net image but her computer crashes every time she moves her mouse more than one pixel. Stay tuned.

Your gay and so is you're mom

2003-10-29T23:17:00.000-05:00

I swear if I have to correct one more person on the proper usage of "you're" and "your" I'm going to do absolutely nothing about it but whine and bitch on this page. Don't push me.

Fook You

2003-10-29T23:13:00.000-05:00

Waking up in my house is no thrill either. After going to bed at 2 am, the first thing you hear is my dad destroying the house about three hours later. Then at 6:15 my alarm goes off and I slam that Snooze button bitch. Normally, these 10 minutes of silence are vital for a good start to any day. This explains why I rarely have a good day. If you were to sleep at my house, in these 9 minutes of “peace” you would hear muffled yelling from the living room, the more you try to rest, the louder it gets. Ignoring this monster just makes it angrier; eventually it’ll even get enraged enough to actually get out of bed to harass you in yours. She’ll come charging into the room, and swing the door open hard enough to kill a weak man. When you open your eyes the lights are already on and the monster will be yelling in an uncivilized manner “DON’T BE LATE GET TO SCHOOL ARG!! ERR!!”. All you can do is pray she doesn’t rip the wall down and keep trying to sleep. When she sees you ignoring her , she’ll go back to bed until the snooze alarm goes off. Repeat this procedure about twenty times. When she comes so far as to ripping your blanket off, threaten to punch her head off . This will usually stun it for about 45 seconds while it tries to figure out if you're serious or not. This is a good chance for you to run to the shower. Don’t forget to slam the door; it makes the veins bulge in her forehead. If you spend any more than 10 minutes in the shower, expect to hear the door being attacked with a jack hammer and about 30 rhinos.
On your way out the door, it will usually say something “encouraging” like have a good day. This is your opportunity to get partial revenge by telling her to burn in hell . This will ruin about ¾ of her day.

I Only Want One Thing

2003-10-29T21:05:00.000-05:00

Bangbangbang!

Single White Male seeks Rich Human

2003-10-29T20:33:00.000-05:00

I want to move out of my house, and I want to move out right fucking now. If someone would like to be my roommate as I can't make rent by myself drop me a line at the usual place. I don't eat much and I keep to myself most of the time. You might have heard some stories about me, but I swear they aren't true. Besides, it was consensual.

In case you haven't noticed, Steam sucks a large amount of donkey testicles.